A day of hurt

I feel really bad right now. So bad I don't think I'm able to coherently form sentences and type them in. My soul was kinda drained today. I talked both to Bess, which wasn't really a problem, and to Philis, which was. The condition she is in, with the extreme obesity, the diabetes, the psychological problems... and the conditions she is in, clutter and filth all over, an old house, with no heat other than a gas stove oven which she can't get to, bedding that is cold and wet and stinky from where she has urinated and defecated because she could not get to her feet... and this is someone I love dearly, someone to whom I was married for 26 years. I want so badly to at the very least just see her and spend a little time with her, but can't because.... well. Because.
Now I have no money left.